#$@! Blog
Going to the chapel and we're...

Going to the chapel and we're...

What did you do Wed? I got married.

Author: Mother Cusser/Friday, March 22, 2013/Categories: DIVORCE..., Funny, funny, funny


 <--- Don't act like you've never wanted to get married in a swamp.


Said this morning by the Lawyer:

 “So now that you and LPP are married I will have new cousins, a new set of grandparents and I think I even have a new father-in-law.”  Ha! Kids are so dumb.

 Oh yeah – I got married on Wed.  Considering how pissed off all of you Cussers were that I didn’t even tell you when I got divorced, here’s your intel.  I’m not divorced anymore. LPP and I got married.

 In the spirit of providing you with as much information as possible about my personal life, here’s a FAQ to keep you informed of what is once again, my personal life.

    Can you show me pictures?
A:  I’d like to.  But I don’t have them yet and I’m also not sure how public to go with pics of my kids etc.  You see, I live in suburbia.  And it’s been hard enough being divorced in this neighborhood let alone remarried to someone who’s in the same social circle.  People talk. And then they give me dirty looks.  It doesn’t happen to LPP– all the ladies are super sweet to him. Evidently people don’t approve of me getting a divorce and then remarried to someone they know.  Maybe I should have married a country singer or something. Then they’d be impressed and ask for autographs.  I will have LPP work on this.

    Why are people so judgmental?
A: Great question.  I think it is because they are bored. 

    Okay, okay, never mind the other people in your neighborhood – what do they know anyway? Just be happy that   you found a new love in LPP and enjoy your new family. How did the wedding go?
A:  Cussers – you are SO wise. Thank you for that.  The wedding was really, really fantastic. 

    What does ExMan think about all of this? Is he supportive?
A:  ExMan has been lovely.  Wished me luck on the day of and then the next day asked if everything went how I was hoping it would go. I even sent him a few of the pics of the boys in their matching outfits that we have from the day. 

   Are you going to change your name?
A: Sort of.  Keeping my married name as my middle name to stay loyal to my boys.  Adding LPP’s last name on as a loyalty show to my new boys.  So my name will be Mother Cusser Pie. 

   Will you have more kids?
A:  Geez you’re asking all kinds of personal questions today!  Anyway – I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have four kids.  And you probably don’t know this but my tubes are tied.  And I’m almost 40.  So no. Sometimes when I see a cute baby though I talk in the “Raising Arizona” accent and tell LPP to “run over to China and get me a toddler." 

  Did the boys have fun?
A: Yes. They had a ball.  We gave them dog tags with their names on the front and on the back it said “Band of Brothers” and the wedding date.  Isn’t that adorable?  

However, they did not like wearing pink dresses.  Whatever, it was MY DAY.

  YES!  Great idea!  Are you going on a honeymoon?
A: Yes but not til the first week in April.  Going skiing.  I haven’t been skiing since 1876, so it’s going to be interesting. I have the cutest ski outfit though, so I will definitely LOOK as if I can ski which is, in my estimation, like 91% of the battle.

   Well congrats. We’re happy for you.  Tell LPP we said so.  And send us pictures.
A: I’ll be sure to pass it along.  Thanks!


Number of views (3138)/Comments (0)

Leave a comment

Add comment
All views and opinions expressed herein are that of the author and not that of any friend, family member or associated of the author.
Copyright 2023 by Mother Cusser   |  Privacy Statement