<<Go ahead and mess with Texas.
Someone sent me this stupid article today.
I was floored to read that due to a game score of 91 to 0 that a parent filed a bullying complaint against the coaches of the winning team. Here’s an actual chain of events time stamped at my reaction to this horror of a coaching team that DARES to win a game:
9:45 AM: I got up. Shut up. I had a few glasses of wine last night. I can’t tell you what kind yet because I’m waiting for the free samples to arrive so I can “review” it. By “review” I mean wine companies send me free wine in the hopes I’ll blog and tell you how good it is. This actually has started happening to me. I am MOVING ON UP.
10:30: I received an urgent text from my brother, an email from my cousin and even ExLady
sent an email alerting me to this article.
10:35: I drank a bucket of coffee.
10:40: A stink bug surprised me while I was brushing my teeth. I swear to you, it came out of my hair. What the hell did we do last night, LPP?
11:00: Okay. Now I read the article which includes the actual complaint as obtained by CBS local news. First of all, WAY TO GO CBS! I hope that was time well spent, finding the ACTUAL complaint of the whiny parent! Look out Watergate! There’s an investigative team in town and that’s YOU! There is no rock left unturned! Is there an online complaint? Then watch how fast it gets cut and pasted into this article! YEE HAW! Don’t mess with Texas CBS reporters, y’all.
11:01 (I’m a really fast reader) Now I read the actual complaint. It was dumb and stupid and dumb. And the parent sounded like a weenie. I felt bad for the kid after I read the complaint. I also felt like bullying the parent. I wonder if they are Canadian. Do they have Canadians in Texas? I wonder how their accents might change living there. They are so cute with that funny way they talk, those Canadians.
Alright I’ll stop screwing around and will tell you what I think, but I bet you already know.
1. That parent cannot possibly be from Texas. They live and DIE by high school football in the South! I bet the other parents on the losing team went home and whipped their boys for playing like a bunch of kittens! As they should have. Not even a field goal, Western Hills? Come on.
2. What the parent said was stupid. And that shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone because stupid people say stupid things. It’s the circle of life. Or the circle of stupid.
3. This is just another example of our children turning into bigger children with bigger appetites for food, money and their parents’ house.
4. Where is the Advil. I have a terrible headache. Maybe Advil will send me free Advil?
5. I keep hoping these examples of us raising baby adults will stop coming in.
I hope this for two reasons:
a. I would like to turn all of the attention back to me
b. I would like our children to be competitive, tough and smart. Not soft, chubby yes-men/women. Every time a new one comes in, the terrorists win.
6. However comma, thank you to the media who keeps telling us about these dummies so I can keep the message of common sense parenting alive. And more importantly, get free wine.