<< This is a real photo of just a section of my backbone. Impressive, huh?
You know what pisses me off? Articles like this one:
Where the writer is wasting words on a page to tell the world that she isn’t going to tell you how to parent. She’s not going to tell you whether to breastfeed or not. She’s not going to tell you to put them to bed or let them stay up all night. That she makes mistakes and so might you. As if someone telling you their thoughts about parenting is a rotten, bossy person…
HEY WAIT A MINUTE. She’s talking about me!
It is true, I am bossy. But I am also adorable. Anywhooo --
Here’s how I interpret that article.
“Wah, wah, wah. My feelings are hurt when someone has an opinion that makes me feel like I’m doing it wrong.”
She titled her article, “Your life isn’t my job.” Well I’m calling my article, “Your fence-riding is the problem.” Listen, honey-bunny – without people talking about the best ways to raise children we will never better our society. And this applies across the board – not just for parenting. Without learning new ways to be healthy, or new ways to build buildings or new ways to deliver packages (check this out!
Go Amazon! I can’t wait to have a box dropped on my head!) – then we are stagnant in our lives.
She makes her final point in a very artistic poetry-like writing manner:
“You've screwed up.
So have I.
We all do it right, and we all do it wrong, and I really believe that we all do it the best we know how.”
Here’s the Mother Cusser response:
Duh. However, how do we know what’s best if we don’t explore the consequences of our decisions and make changes for the better?”
This cat thinks you need to get off the fence.
Am I the only one who’s always trying new ways to parent? Why is learning about what you could have done better such a bad thing? Are you that insecure that you can’t just say “Good point, I should limit video games. Wish I’d done it all along.” Does doing that mean my life is someone else's job?
Changing the way you parent doesn’t mean you’re a huge loser who was screwing it up this entire time. And reading thoughts and opinions from someone like me doesn’t mean your life is my job. It means you’re exploring ways to do things better for your family. Good for you!
I get sick of the “Stop the Mommy Wars!” cry.
No. And you stop calling it a war. That’s a hugely dramatic word that should be highly offensive to those who’ve actually been in wars and it was definitely invented by a woman who felt attacked by reading or hearing something that made her feel like she was doing it wrong. And she might have been doing it wrong! AND THAT IS OKAY. Now it’s time to find ways to do it right.
There is no one size fits all approach. But there are overarching themes to parenting. And the biggest one is to teach them how to exist without you. Because that’s the goal. Get them all growed up and out the door to become productive members of society.
It’s not a war. It’s a village. And I’m the Paul Revere of parenting riding my steed around the internet telling you that the Chinese are coming – in fact they are already here. You should listen. And suck it up if you can do something better than you were.
That is your real job.