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I look down on people who refuse to shower.

I look down on people who refuse to shower.

Mother Cusser takes on an Ann Coulter-like feminist blogger who thinks you are a loser.

Author: Mother Cusser/Tuesday, January 28, 2014/Categories: Cussing, ADHD, Funny, funny, funny, Top Ten and Five Lists

<<Ann Coulter loves to use the ole "quotes!"


Last week, a fan sent me this article, click here to read.  Some grouchy, childless woman wrote a blog about how having babies and raising them isn’t real work and blah blah blah she is better than those who do such boring tasks and whatever.  


And I had some ideas on how I wanted to respond to this person but I also struggled with giving this person too much attention.  Maybe if I ignored it, it would go away?  

HA!

Today, one of the anchors at local Nashville affiliate Fox 17 News, Jennifer Waddell, sent me a tweet asking me my opinion on this person.  To see the tweet, click here.


When one of your fans happens to be a popular, local news anchor – you need to get off your lazy booty and write something good. 

So here’s my response to one, Amy Glass, who believes that you cannot be exceptional if you have kids and also that women talk about how hard it is to manage a household because they are trying to cover up for their lack of real accomplishments.  

 Amy Glass – you are the Ann Coulter of feminism.  And not because you may be blonde and close to anorexic, although I cannot attest to your appearance because all it says under your “About Amy” section on your site is this gem: “Powerhouse. Lover of start-ups, big ideas and the future. You can email me using the contact form.”


But you are Ann Coulter because you try really hard to use quotes when you say mean things.  I am going to write you a response in your “language,” because I believe it’s important that you “understand” what I “mean.”

Here are the problems with your “article.”

1. For the love of all that is holy and good in this world – STOP CALLING ME MOMMY.  You had to go and bring up “mommy bloggers” didn’t you? You couldn’t just “write” your nasty little “article” and not use the word MOMMY.  From the bottom of my “heart” – shut up.  

2. I lol’d and then lol’d again when I read the part of your “article” that said having a kid is boring and isn’t a real accomplishment.  What can I say?  You simply just don’t “know” what you’re talking about.  Anyone that has gone through this process either via their own bodies or someone else’s knows that you are a moron.  I don’t even feel the need to defend it.  

3. You said, “I want to have a shower for a woman when she backpacks on her own through Asia, gets a promotion, or lands a dream job…”  So do it?  Did someone say you can’t do that?  Does someone throwing a baby shower mean you can’t take your stinky backpacking “friend” out for a drink? Should you decide to do that, however, please keep your stinky backpacking “friend” far away from me.  Body odor makes me have to “fight back vomit.”


4. You said: “Women will be equal with men when we stop demanding that it be considered equally important to do housework and real work. They are not equal. Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business. This word play is holding us back.”  Last time I checked – no one is saying that laundry is more important than being a doctor.  Although, I think it’s important to note that a doctor who stinks in her dirty clothes at work will not be as successful as the one who has clean clothes.  You see, Amy, doctors have to be super, duper clean because germs are what doctors are fighting against.  This cleanliness helps them fight disease and save people!  Unless of course she’s your doctor – we all know how you like to throw “parties” for those who reek.  Listen sweetheart, clean clothes also apply across the other disciplines you mentioned as well, like engineering and building a business.  If these people look like crap, smell like crap, then they will not be as successful as those who are wearing clean clothes.  In fact, I can smell you from here.  Please, go take a shower.  The stink lines around you are getting in the way of me reading your “article.”


5. You said: “You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.”  Here’s where you’re correct – do those of us with husbands and kids have less time, energy, freedom and mobility?  YES!!  You totally nailed that!  But saying that makes us less exceptional is where you clearly fail.  Just as you say “this word play is holding us back,” I will say YOUR word play is holding YOU back.  Exceptional  means something different to me than it does to you.  I would go as far to say as exceptional also means something a little different to your stinky “friend.”   You don’t get to tell us what makes us exceptional, Amy.  As women – we get to decide how WE want to define it.  If I define it by standing on my head at yoga, taking a shower, writing my famous blog and talking to popular local news anchors, helping my kids get straight As, feeding my kids food that helps them grow and rocking my husband’s world at night – that is my right. That’s my definition of exceptional, for me!  You see, Amy?  You’ve got it all wrong.  You’ve gone ahead and tried to define exceptional across the board for all women.  And that’s just stupid.  Because by my definition, you’re failing to be exceptional.  Is that a fair statement?  Of course not.  You have the right to choose to not take a shower!  And I support you in that.  

And in a few years when you either accidentally get pregnant, try to get pregnant and have to seek medical help to do so, or try to get pregnant and be lucky enough to have it work, or adopt – you’ll be writing a blog that is titled, “I’m sorry I looked down on you, women with kids and husbands.  I’m really needing some support and help right now, is anyone still out there? I promise I will take a shower.”


I’ll always be here for you, Amy.  I hope you’ll be able to put aside what you think is right for you – and can respect what is right for others.  


And for the love of GAWD.  Take a shower.

Whew!  You stink!



Number of views (21269)/Comments (14)

14 comments on article "I look down on people who refuse to shower."

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Nicole

1/28/2014 8:22 AM

Great article about a not so great "article".


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August

1/28/2014 9:44 AM

If she even has time to shower, that is.


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Jennifer

1/28/2014 11:23 AM

Perfect response


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Krys

1/28/2014 11:48 AM

That was a great response. I read her 'article' first and was in shock that someone could be so unfulfilled in her life. My first thought is that I am sorry that she has not met someone and fallen in love, experienced the joy of a precious little life kicking her, or the first smiles and first laughs of a baby. Not everyone wants to have a baby, but they do not condemn the people who do.

To take that stance on marriage and children, I wonder if she has pets and if she does, I can bet they hold back her freedom and mobility. Good pet owners display the same type of love for their fur 'babies' as parents do for their little bundles of joy. So my guess is that she is not a pet owner.

I bet she even kicks puppies.

I am very impressed with your response, It got me thinking. Sorry for the long comment.

I am a proud work-at-home mom. I have a college degree in Journalism. I run an online magazine about charities and how celebrities give back. It does not make any money. I do not care if it does.

My favorite job-title is mom. It always will be. Here is an accomplishment - I was a divorced mom (with NO help from the ex), I finished high school and went to college as a single mom. That was a struggle. I met the most amazing man in the world, fell madly in love and got married. I finished college and we have three amazing sons. I do not have to work a regular job because my husband earns enough to take care of the bills.

I choose to stay home and work on my magazine. I am successful.

I am successful because I have been married for almost 17 years and I still get butterflies and 'rock his world' (I love that you put that in your article) most nights.

I am successful because my children get to school on time (most days).

I am successful because my children are growing up to be giving and generous men.

I am successful because my kids are not in jail, or on drugs or shooting each other or any of the other horrific things I have read lately.

I am successful because my kids know what love is and will treat their wives like they should.

I am successful because my 23-yr-old has grown up to be a responsible and hard-working husband who cherishes his wife and unborn child.

I am successful because I encourage my kids to follow their dreams and now, my 15-yr-old is a published author who is getting much praise for his novel.

I am successful because my 7-yr-old (and my older boys) has manners and thinks mom is the most important person in the universe.

I am successful because I organize an annual charity event that blessed over 100 needy families with a good Christmas.

I am successful and I do exceptional things. If I value something as successful and exceptional, than it is to me and usually to my family.

As a mom, as a wife, as a woman; our success can be measured in so many different ways. Are you happy with your life? If not, change it. If you are happy, then enjoy it and do not look down on others because they did not choose the same path.

Amy Glass just does not have a clue. Mother Cusser - Great Job.


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Amy

1/28/2014 12:00 PM

I think you got this exactly right. Men don't have to hold us back, we do it to each other all the time. If I want to be a stay at home mom, a working mom, or not a mom at all, those are all equally valid choices. I'll never understand why we women can't stick together a little more. My idea of 'exceptional' is being able to make my own choices in life without someone else telling me those choices are wrong. I really like your response here. I am a feminist, but that doesn't make me a man hater or a baby hater. I'm married with three kids and work full time. I love where my life has gone, and I feel like anyone who doesn't like it, can suck it.


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Micki

1/28/2014 12:03 PM

Way to go Krys. You are exceptional!

The twit that wrote the other article really has no clue. Defining 'exceptional' by society's standards leads to a boring and un-fulfulling life. Do what is right for you, not what society says you have to do.

Again, Mother Cusser, you have hit the nail on the head! (you pretty, funny, pretty, exceptional woman, you!)


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Myriam

1/28/2014 1:51 PM

Hi !

I like you ! And I like reading your blog and articles, you are a very good and spirited writer !

I juste don't enthurstand the need to insult other groups (like all the 'stink' comments about packpackers or about that lady)... For me, it feels judgemental and 'easy' and ruined the pleasure of reading your otherwise sharp, articulate, nicely worded opinons.

Have a nice evening ;)


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Mother Cusser

1/28/2014 2:16 PM

Myriam -

Because I'm a humor writer - I get to make fun of other groups and it's not called insults, it's called hilarity. Satire. Funny.

So I don't really think ALL backpackers stink ALL of the time - but they certainly could...therein lies the joke.

Thanks for the love. You definitely sandwiched your critique between two awesome compliments and that is exactly how I like to be approached.

Love,

Mother


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Thomas Horton

1/28/2014 4:07 PM

Mother, I think the biggest thing about Glass's article is that she sells women short— Margaret Thatcher was a mother. Marie Curie was a mother. Madonna is a mother. If she thinks children are a hindrance to greatness, then she should recognize that truly exceptional women are mothers TOO. Her idea that a woman has to sacrifice motherhood for a career or adventure (or vice versa) sells women short. It is anti-feminist.


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Formerly exceptional Sheryl

1/28/2014 8:50 PM

I LOVE your response to Amy Glasshole's blog. I have a feeling Amy is bitter gal who is navigating through life much like her "backpacking through Asia" friend- SOLO. Btw, I think anyone who would backpack alone through Asia is 1) crazy, 2) a person whom no one wants to travel with or 3) likes the mantra: what happens in Asia stays in Asia.

I wonder if Amy likes cats because they are independent like she is. Dogs are probably too needy for her busy lifestyle; that's why people in exotic countries eat them. I bet she hates sitcoms and domestic beer. I bet she loves Sylvia Plath books & Edvard Munch paintings. I bet she prides herself in discussing the demise of pop culture while drinking craft beers out of vintage Michalob pint glasses (she's so ironic like that). She's probably really hard to be with that big ole chip on her shoulder.

Also, I'm joking about "formerly exceptional." I made a person! What could be more exceptional than that?!?


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Mother Cusser

1/29/2014 9:14 AM

Amy Glasshole! Genius!


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Eddie Walker

1/28/2014 11:01 PM

Amy Glass seems to forget that her very existence and upbringing on this planet was not some mysterious magic event, willed into being from the ether. She was birthed -- no doubt with great pain -- by her mother, had her vomit, poop and pee cleaned up by her mother and father, had her tantrums tolerated by her mother, had her schoolwork reviewed by her mother, had life lessons taught to her by her mother. And she is clearly pissing all of that away to troll mothers everywhere. I'm sure her own mother is mortified (or turning over in her grave).


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Meaghan

2/2/2014 8:26 PM

What Eddie said! I wonder how sad Amy's own Mom would feel about her "article"


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ann

2/7/2014 6:31 AM

Was the Amy Glass post a response to some other post out there? It didn't make sense. She did come across as angry and just pissed about laundry.

Life is hard. Nobody likes doing laundry.

There. i said it.

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