So I’m a natural leader.  This is largely due to the fact that my ADHD brain thinks a zillion times faster than everyone else’s.  And I have zero point zero patience.  

But I hate always being the leader.  There are lots of reasons for this:

1.    I always am.
2.    I don’t like when people don’t listen to me and then we argue and then it always turns out I’m right. This is because the arguing takes time, not because they argue with me in the first place.
3.    I don’t like when I do all the work and people just ride the wave.

4.    I don’t like people.

So here’s how that works:  

 

 

 

Example – yesterday I was at a club for my son’s school. I am NOT the lead volunteer. However, the lead volunteer didn’t know what to do with the kids for the last ten minutes of club time.  “Hmmm…what do we do?”  said the club leader, SLOWLY, as 31 elementary aged kids were restlessly wandering around the gym – looking to us, the adults – for leadership.  I kept my mouth shut determined to not be responsible – but the girls began to complain and the boys started running around and throwing things. I didn’t blame them really – they expected something to do!  “Should we play a game?” said the leader, once again SLOWLY.  “I guess we can’t go back outside because it’s sooooo cold,” she continued, SLOWLY.

After what seemed like 32 hours, I relented and took charge.  Within seconds I had all 31 kids in a single file line heading to the 2nd grade hall to play a game of Simon Sez for the last ten minutes of club time.  All the while, kicking myself for once again speaking up.  When we returned to the gym, guess who was put in charge of indoor games???  Yours truly.  CRAP.

Side note: isn’t it funny that I, the Mother Cusser, is helping out with a school club? Does that hurt my street cred with you Cussers?  I volunteered to help (just flippin help, not lead) because I skipped my 2nd grader’s Christmas party this year (for this exact reason) and he has not forgiven me. Evidently he was the ONLY one without a parent and that has been emotionally devastating for him. I AM SUCH A BAD MOM.  So when this opportunity presented itself I grabbed it to make up for being such a terrible mother.

Alas, I’m the games leader.  The only game I know is Simon Sez.  Think they’re too young for quarters?