<< Bet you wouldn't say neat.
So recently, my cousin Lisa died tragically leaving behind not just her two grown college-aged daughters and husband, but her tennis team, her church friends, her neighbors, etc. She was one of those people who touched everyone else’s lives. You know the type? Like the nicest people, ever? She was really the epitome of beauty inside and out – and I’m really not just saying that because it sounds good. She really was. See?
I’ve been to a few funerals but not many. They are all sad. They are all emotional. They are all opportunities to smile through tears for just a moment, before feeling the gravity of the death yet again.
But this one made me think.
The pastor had asked Lisa’s daughters to describe her using one word adjectives. They said: Giving, Holy, Selfless, Discerning and Organized.
WOW. Those are incredible adjectives. If Lisa were to hear that (and perhaps she was there with us listening depending on what you believe. I believe she was) I imagine she would feel a sense of pride over living her life in a way that when people thought of her that’s the kind of stuff they would say.
It got me thinking. What would people say at my funeral? Certainly none of those things. I write a blog called Mother Cusser for fuck’s sake. I just said the f word to make a point. I do that a lot actually. So just from the blog writing you can cross off pretty much everything on that list except organized. And I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t win that adjective award either.
This is where all the blogging magic happens!
Then I started obsessing about it. What if no one could think of anything nice to say? Who would come to my silly funeral? Lisa’s viewing alone lasted three hours and hundreds of people came. I don’t know that many people, unless you count Facebook. But who has a Facebook funeral? I checked my Facebook page. I hadn’t been on it in ages and it was mostly blank. “What adjectives describe me??” I yelled it in a panic to Little Pumpkin Pie. He replied “Loud.”
So then what would you say, Cussers? What single adjectives would you use to describe me? And I’ll be honest – all I could think of were bad ones. Impatient, pushy, temper, sarcastic, blah blah blah I could go on but I’m depressing myself.
I decided to ask a few people who I figured would be honest. I told them to say what they wanted. It could be funny or mean or nice or whatever.
Old (said by OLD friends)
Mentally impaired (which is ironic, JENNIFER, because I said ONE WORD)
My sons said firm, fair, tough, fun and strict. Hmm. I see a trend in that one. Ha.
So there’s my list. Pretty different from Lisa’s list. But that’s okay – it made me smile. And it showed me that we all leave different and lasting legacies when we die. Lisa’s was unique to her – and that’s what makes it awesome. Mine is mine. Even if I am old and mentally impaired. I’ll take it.
By the way Jennifer and Sheryl – you two were the only jerkfaces who came up witih mean adjectives. Love you for it.