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A wine review from Mother Cusser

A wine review from Mother Cusser

Believe it or not - I do actually taste the wine before I swallow it.

Author: Mother Cusser/Wednesday, November 13, 2013/Categories: Cussing, Tips to improve your life

<< You know you've totally done this. 

I’m proud to announce that today’s blog will be part advertisement. 

Here’s how it all started. I was a lonely writer, largely ignored by the world.  Then I wrote this blog, and it went crazy and flew around the world.  Now I have 14k visitors a month!  Imagine having 14k people in your store every month!  Amazing huh?  HI EVERYONE!  

Anywhoo, this blog takes a lot of time to manage. I know I make it look easy but being creative and writing all of the time is not that easy.  So I need some cash flow to justify spending the time I do on it.  So I started contacting some of my favorite brands and telling them I have a lot of people in their target market that would be interested in what they are selling.  “Would you like to buy an ad?” I would ask them, ever so nicely.  

So far I have gotten one “no,” and three “we’re thinking about it,” and one brand sent me to this ridiculous form where I’d have to fill out 289 pages of crap before they would consider it.  The rest have been quiet.  

And then Bota Box offered me an alternative.  They offered to send me their wine for free if I will write a blog reviewing it.  Free wine?  Okay!  

Here’s the thing.  I drink Bota already.  I already know what it tastes like.  I even have a favorite. 

So here’s a list of reasons why I already drink Bota and what it means to me:

1. Because you don’t have to cork it.  Don’t sit there and act like stuffing the cork back into a regular bottle of wine stops it from tasting horrible the next day.  Even if you use an oxygen sucker – the next day a bottle of wine left corked still tastes like bugs got in it. 

2. Because there are four bottles of wine in one box and I only paid $20 for it.  Before Bota I was spending $14 a bottle on average! And you’re forced to finish the damn thing because SEE #1.   I only want to finish the bottle when it’s MY prerogative, not the bottle’s.  

3. They have these little handheld Botas (I believe they call them Lightweights) that you can sneak into movies.  I hate going to the movies because movies are too long these days and you are trapped in a chair for sometimes as long as THREE HOURS.  And for some reason wiggling around and making fun of the movie loudly is “frowned upon.”  But give me a handheld Bota and I’ll be chill and quiet. Until I have to pee.

4. I like the “box” in the Bota Box.  It’s all hippy and recyclable which makes me feel as if I’m helping the environment.   Although that doesn’t really make any sense, it doesn’t change how I feel.

5. It lasts forever.  I don’t need 13 glasses a night.  I just like a glass in the evening to wind down.  So I can have that one glass and feel happy that the entire bottle is going to be wasted. Bota says there are 20 glasses per box and it stays fresh for 45 days.  Perfect!

6. I’m not sure but I think they have like 8479 different varietals.  (“varietals” is how you say “flavors” in wine speak.  I’m very important now so I use “varietials” even though it is hard to spell).  I always drink the red zinfandel Bota.  Sometimes the cabernet.  They sent me Cab and Pinot Grigio.  I don’t like white wine so I had four of my white wine drinking friends come over.  They said the following thing for about two hours – “Can I have some more?” It was a big success.

7. You can take a Bota anywhere!!  

This is single Mom Bota family on a picnic.

You can grow Botas in your garden??  SWEET.

Bota selfie.

This Bota is in a fireplace?

Single Dad Bota taking kids fishing. Botas love fishing!

This Bota looks inbred. I wouldn't eat that if I were you.  

8. First time I tasted Bota Cabernet I was suspicious.  “Box wine?” I said.  “Gross!”  But because I’m a daredevil, I tried it.  I was totally surprised!  It has a good solid flavor!  And it goes down smoothly.  It’s a very drinkable, fun wine!!  And then a few days later – it still tastes good.  I like that I can rely on that.  I’m a fan!

So if you haven’t tried it, try it. It tastes good, it’s good for a party and it’s good if it’s just you.  Affordable, drinkable and bottomless!  

If you already drink it, CHEERS!  

Want to talk to Bota?  Go here http://www.botabox.com/ContactUs/ and fill out their form – they actually have a real person that reads all of your emails.  I triple dog dare you to tell them you write a blog.  See if they'll send you free wine!


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