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QUIZ: How to tell if you're a helicopter parent.

QUIZ: How to tell if you're a helicopter parent.

Take this scientific test to find out what kind of parent you really are.

Author: Mother Cusser/Friday, January 17, 2014/Categories: Cussing, Funny, funny, funny

<< This Mom is wrong!  I'm pretty sure the answer is D.  

Here’s a really scientific parenting quiz to find out if you’re a helicopter parent.

Question:  When your child asks to go outside to play, you think:

a. They can go outside to do that?
b. Where will he plug in his video game?
c. Doesn’t he know he will get hit by a car?  Fine, I’ll get my lawn chair, cell phone and lap top and glass of wine and will sit outside watching you.
d. Sorry, you have soccer and basketball, then homework and by that time I’ll be so tired from driving you around and doing your math that I’ll just turn on a movie and fall asleep.

Question:  When your children argue with each other, you:

a. Are shocked to hear them talking to each other, they are usually playing video games
b. Sit them down and lord over the entire conversation so you can solve the problem.
c. Threaten to take away a game controller so only one child can play at a time, instead of the very convenient two player option.
d. Just be so tired of doing everything for them all day (laundry, cooking, cleaning, working etc) that you just turn on a movie and fall asleep

Question:  When your child sneezes a big, loud allergic sneeze, you:

a. Startle and leap into the air and scream for everyone to run to the safe place!
b. Punish him because if he does that in school he will get expelled for making a loud explosive noise.
c. Punish him because he somehow got outside and the pollen got to him.
d. Call the doctor, change his diet to juicing only and then just turn on a movie and fall asleep.

If you answered any of those questions – you’re a psycho helicopter parent.  I know me telling you this makes you mad.  If I cared about your feelings, I wouldn’t be a famous blogger.  My telling you how ridiculous you are is what I do best.  So suck it up.

And change it.  Is this person you? Is this person your wife/husband/partner?  Did you know that once I got a message through my Facebook page and it said this:

Hi! I just wanted to tell you that I love your page. I am a stepmom too and can't publicly "like" it because my counterpart (she means the kid's biological Mother) is a helicopter who will lose her mind - but I have started really look forward to your blog and today was the best so far!

What’s that now?  You have to hide liking Mother Cusser?? Man, I’m really rocking some boats here, eh?  

Add to that the fact that people regularly approach me and say: “I’m the one that’s like you.  My wife/husband/partner is the helicopter!  So frustrating!”  

Couples/parents/single parents – LISTEN UP. If you can’t even tell your partners that they need to change up their parenting style then how the hell are you planning on managing your own children??  Do you just sit quietly when your husband puts a helmet on your daughter when she’s in the bathtub in case she slips?  How about when your wife calls the school to insist that the teacher send her the entire curriculum for the year so she can manage assignments and tests for little 17 year old Bobby?  

Speak up.  Your children need it.  Your marriage needs it.  You think you don’t have time for each other now? Wait until they never move out!  Or when they finally do get out at the age of 30, you and your partner won’t remember how to talk to each other without it involving the kids.  You’ll constantly just be perusing the video game room wondering why it’s so very empty and quiet.

Maybe you will luck out and your kids will have kids and you can let your partner micromanage their lives while you continue to work full-time to pay for your kids’ kids because your kids never learned how to think for themselves enough to have the guts to even get a real job to begin with.  It’s the new circle of parenting.  

Is that what you want you in-the-closet-non-helicopter parents???  

Ugh. Fighting this all alone is exhausting.  I’m going to go turn on a movie and fall asleep

Number of views (6924)/Comments (2)


2 comments on article "QUIZ: How to tell if you're a helicopter parent."



10/7/2014 1:52 PM

this cartoon fits perfectly with a presentation I'm doing for teachers. They must register for the presentation, at no charge. May I please use this cartoon?

thank you!

Linda Fountain

Education Consultant

Healthy Minds/Healthy Children


Mother Cusser

10/7/2014 2:31 PM


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