<<This is the typical amount of candy that kids get during school Valentine's parties. But add in cupcakes. Oh yeah and cookies. And brownies too. I bet the teachers just love it.
So a fan sent me this lovely article, click here to read, written by some nobody named Todd Starnes who is a host of a national radio show called Fox News & Commentary, which according to his bio is "heard on hundreds of radio stations." “Hundreds”? I love marketing speak.
But I digress.
It seems Todd has a beef with an elementary school in Connecticut who has banned sugary candy in school on Valentine’s Day. The school sent a letter home to parents that read: “We are asking for parents/guardians to be sure that food products of any kind are not a part of your child’s Valentine’s cards,” Principal Megan Mazzei wrote. “We are working to encourage healthy practices as well as manage food choices in classrooms where food allergies are present in order to maintain a safe environment.”
Todd believes that this is “lame” and that when the principle offers suggestions like “Give stickers, tattoos, pencils or other crafts” instead of giving each other sugary candies he says, "Remember back when you were in fourth grade – how the girls used to swoon when you presented them with a Number Two pencil?”
Todd also goes on to quote an irate parent who feels that, “It seems we are going the way of so many other schools who lose sight of the meaning of holidays in their efforts to appease a very small minority.”
I cannot contain myself this makes me so mad. What small minority? This relates to the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY, YOU IDIOT.
Dear Todd and other Idiot Parent:
1. This school is doing the right thing. Kids are fat. Encouraging sugar and candy and having parties for Valentine’s Day is stupid. When I was little we had a paper bag, we gave out little 2x3 Valentine’s cards and the “party” was when everyone walked around giving everyone else a card. That was it. Nowadays, we have Valentine Parties! We take 45 minutes out of their school day to give them plates full of cupcakes, donuts, cookies and chocolates. Sure, they give out cards – but they are huge! They have additional pieces of candy attached to them. Some people even attach bags of candy! When did Valentine’s Day turn into Halloween? It’s gross. And if no one stands up and says, “Enough is enough,” we will continue down the path of teaching our kids that binge eating is okay. Little Billy – eat your cupcakes, chocolate and donuts in the next 45 minutes because it’s a Valentine’s Party and the school says we can!
2. Valentine’s Day is also not a children’s holiday. It’s not Christmas. It’s not their birthday. It’s not Halloween. I guess Todd and this stupid parent have forgotten that Valentine’s Day is the day a man tries to buy the right combo of flowers, jewelry and Hallmark poetry to get his lady friend to loosen up if you know what I mean. It’s the day of ROMANCE. CHAMPAGNE. HOT TUBS. LINGERIE. CANDLE WAX. SEXY TIME.
3. Quite frankly, the fact that Todd is concerned about the dating life of fourth graders disturbs me.
4. In response to one parent’s comment that this Valentine’s restriction was draconian and that “I had always thought that my district had its head solidly on its shoulders.” Todd eloquently says this gem: “Well, based on the letters and emails the school sent home to parents, I’d say the school has its head up another part of the human anatomy.” WOW. WHAT PART TODD? I don’t get it! You’re so clever in your use of “another part of human anatomy.” Except no you aren’t.
Todd, why do you hate children? Why do you HATE AMERICA? Because if you loved children and if you loved America, Mr. Fox News Radio Show Host on “Hundreds” of stations – you would understand that our children need to understand priorities. A fourth grader should know that giving a Valentine is a nice activity. But it is NOT educational. It should NOT be a school sanctioned party. You don’t get tested on your ability to pound 3 cupcakes, 14 Hershey’s kisses, two glazed donuts and two cups of root beer. Our schools are burdened with providing stellar education to our children, TODD. Not teaching them that obesity is fun and a great way to date your fourth grade classmates.
**Since writing this blog, I felt compelled to do some research to back up my claims that an over abundance of sugar is promoting bad habits and encouraging obesity. Since doing so - I have discovered an even more disturbing fact that I kind of already knew but maybe I didn't want to know. Sugar feeds cancer. Please see this link and also this link to read about the National Center for Biotechnology Information,an organization that advances science and health by providing access to biomedical and genomic information, study and results regarding the sugar that your child binges on during class parties. Or click here to read about a study from 2009 by the American Institute for Cancer Research.
It's more than obesity, folks.**
This school is right. All schools should be brave enough to follow suit.
In the spirit of putting my money where my mouth is - instead of sending Todd candy - I took the advice of the principal and decided to make my own crafty Valentine for Todd. And while I'm happily married and not in fourth grade - I still felt like I could make something that would speak just to him. To let him know just how I feel.
I made a Valentine for Todd. Here it is: