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Valentine's Day - Because She Has To.

Valentine's Day - Because She Has To.

Or at least that's the way it used to be. Mother Cusser takes on a radio host who thinks Valentine's Day is courtship for fourth graders.

Author: Mother Cusser/Saturday, February 8, 2014/Categories: Cussing, DIVORCE..., Funny, funny, funny

<<This is the typical amount of candy that kids get during school Valentine's parties. But add in cupcakes.  Oh yeah and cookies.  And brownies too. I bet the teachers just love it.  

So a fan sent me this lovely article, click here to read, written by some nobody named Todd Starnes who is a host of a national radio show called Fox News & Commentary, which according to his bio is  "heard on hundreds of radio stations." “Hundreds”? I love marketing speak.  

But I digress.  

It seems Todd has a beef with an elementary school in Connecticut who has banned sugary candy in school on Valentine’s Day.  The school sent a letter home to parents that read: “We are asking for parents/guardians to be sure that food products of any kind are not a part of your child’s Valentine’s cards,” Principal Megan Mazzei wrote. “We are working to encourage healthy practices as well as manage food choices in classrooms where food allergies are present in order to maintain a safe environment.”

Todd believes that this is “lame” and that when the principle offers suggestions like “Give stickers, tattoos, pencils or other crafts” instead of giving each other sugary candies he says, "Remember back when you were in fourth grade – how the girls used to swoon when you presented them with a Number Two pencil?”

Todd also goes on to quote an irate parent who feels that, “It seems we are going the way of so many other schools who lose sight of the meaning of holidays in their efforts to appease a very small minority.”

I cannot contain myself this makes me so mad.  What small minority?  This relates to the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY, YOU IDIOT.  

Dear Todd and other Idiot Parent:

1. This school is doing the right thing.  Kids are fat.  Encouraging sugar and candy and having parties for Valentine’s Day is stupid.  When I was little we had a paper bag, we gave out little 2x3 Valentine’s cards and the “party” was when everyone walked around giving everyone else a card.  That was it.  Nowadays, we have Valentine Parties!  We take 45 minutes out of their school day to give them plates full of cupcakes, donuts, cookies and chocolates.  Sure, they give out cards – but they are huge!  They have additional pieces of candy attached to them. Some people even attach bags of candy! When did Valentine’s Day turn into Halloween?  It’s gross. And if no one stands up and says, “Enough is enough,” we will continue down the path of teaching our kids that binge eating is okay.  Little Billy – eat your cupcakes, chocolate and donuts in the next 45 minutes because it’s a Valentine’s Party and the school says we can!  

2. Valentine’s Day is also not a children’s holiday. It’s not Christmas.  It’s not their birthday.  It’s not Halloween.  I guess Todd and this stupid parent have forgotten that Valentine’s Day is the day a man tries to buy the right combo of flowers, jewelry and Hallmark poetry to get his lady friend to loosen up if you know what I mean. It’s the day of ROMANCE.  CHAMPAGNE.  HOT TUBS.  LINGERIE.  CANDLE WAX.  SEXY TIME.  

3. Quite frankly, the fact that Todd is concerned about the dating life of fourth graders disturbs me.  

4. In response to one parent’s comment that this Valentine’s restriction was draconian and that “I had always thought that my district had its head solidly on its shoulders.” Todd eloquently says this gem:  “Well, based on the letters and emails the school sent home to parents, I’d say the school has its head up another part of the human anatomy.”  WOW.  WHAT PART TODD?  I don’t get it!  You’re so clever in your use of “another part of human anatomy.”  Except no you aren’t.  

Todd, why do you hate children?  Why do you HATE AMERICA?  Because if you loved children and if you loved America, Mr. Fox News Radio Show Host on “Hundreds” of stations – you would understand that our children need to understand priorities.  A fourth grader should know that giving a Valentine is a nice activity. But it is NOT educational.  It should NOT be a school sanctioned party.  You don’t get tested on your ability to pound 3 cupcakes, 14 Hershey’s kisses, two glazed donuts and two cups of root beer.  Our schools are burdened with providing stellar education to our children, TODD.  Not teaching them that obesity is fun and a great way to date your fourth grade classmates.  

**Since writing this blog, I felt compelled to do some research to back up my claims that an over abundance of sugar is promoting bad habits and encouraging obesity.  Since doing so - I  have discovered an even more disturbing fact that I kind of already knew but maybe I didn't want to know.  Sugar feeds cancer.  Please see this link and also this link to read about the National Center for Biotechnology Information,an organization that advances science and health by providing access to biomedical and genomic information, study and results regarding the sugar that your child binges on during class parties. Or click here to read about a study from 2009 by the American Institute for Cancer Research. 
It's more than obesity, folks.**

This school is right.  All schools should be brave enough to follow suit.  

In the spirit of putting my money where my mouth is - instead of sending Todd candy - I took the advice of the principal and decided to make my own crafty Valentine for Todd.  And while I'm happily married and not in fourth grade - I still felt like I could make something that would speak just to him.  To let him know just how I feel.
I made a Valentine for Todd.  Here it is:

Number of views (12628)/Comments (12)

12 comments on article "Valentine's Day - Because She Has To. "



2/10/2014 12:35 PM

While I agree with most of your other posts, I don't agree here.This seems to me like you're not allowing the children make good decisions by themselves. Why not take this opportunity to teach the child to make the right choice?

My son has a Valentine's party at school. Our school is an "Apple School", which means all foods in the hot lunch program are part of a balanced and healthy meal. Parents are encouraged to send healthy snacks for the parties, I usually bake muffins or send a veggie tray... but that doesn't mean they don't get sugary treats. When my child brings home eleventeen lollipops, he knows that he can only have one and save the rest for later. He also knows that he has to have a healthy snack before the lollipop, and that he has to brush his teeth after. He has been through a mouth freezing and filling, he knows - because he learned for himself - that making a bad decision can sometimes hurt BAD. Not to say he makes only good decisions, he is only 6. He has been known to eat a pile of candy and suffer the tummy ache after. Lesson learned, if only for a short while.

I do not hate my child, but I let him have treats. I have treats myself on occasion, and I don't hate myself. I don't hate the kids in my son's school, but I still help my son tape a lollipop on his Valentines. I also don't hate Canada (I'm Canadian) but I still have birthday cake and party bags filled with junk at birthday parties, and we invite all of my son's friends.

If we can't let our children learn from their mistakes, they won't learn. Isn't that sort of what your Miley post was all about?

On the other hand, stickers and tattoos are pretty cool to get, according to my kid. He looks kind of like a biker with his full sleeve of tats, while sucking on his lollipop.



Mother Cusser

2/10/2014 1:36 PM

Nicole -

Your school is a rare one. Lucky you.

With regard to your response - I shall explain.

1. I am not an advocate for junk in schools. Pretty simple here. This school banned the treats. I support the school. The writer of the article did not. I think he is a moron. I know this makes me very unpopular. I am used to this feeling.

2. Absolutely agree a child should be allowed to think for himself and make choices. Never said he shouldn't.

3. what I did say was that I don't think schools need to be responsible for parties and junk food. At these parties you find cupcakes and candy as options to choose from. Unless your kid is allergic or just plain hates sugary food - he's going to pick one. He will likely pick more than one. You know why? Because the school said he could. So did his parents. I think we are not modeling health here. I think we've taken it too far.

4. I never said I don't eat junk. I just ate a cookie, in fact. I never said my kids don't get to have junk. They have been taught moderation. And they try to practice it. They aren't awesome at that - but they are learning.

I applaud this school for standing up and making a change. I think it's the right thing to do. And again, since Valentine's Day is Friday and I will be attending my own kids' parties I'm sure I'll be getting all kinds of eat shi!t looks from the Moms. I am not the Grinch that stole Valentine's. We all know it's bad for you. We all get on diets because of it. I'm merely saying we don't need to keep promoting bad habits. Similarly, we could also celebrate by letting our kids smoke cigarettes in packs a few times a year too. What's the harm in that?

And I love Canadians.


Principal Lee

2/10/2014 2:14 PM

I agree with you Mother. As an Elementary School Principal of 700 students, parties have gotten out of hand. Years ago, parties were reasonable with valentine cards and maybe a cookie. Now, it is a competition among the room mothers who can have the biggest and most elaborate parties with games, crafts and a gluttonous array of sugary and junk food snacks. At my school, I see parents who come to join the parties who never manage to come to parent conferences. Parties now last between 45 and 60 minutes. Where are our priorities? Apparently not the education your child is receiving. I decided to make a change with how our school parties are handled.

At my school, we do give out valentine cards and the children receive a cookie during their independent work time. And you know what? It is ENOUGH!! There is no longer a frenzy of mindless activities at a party. No child is overindulging in junk food because there is such an abundance. The children are quite happy and satisfied. My parents are behind me 100% because they realize the importance of education. No wonder our students are behind in science and math. Get with it parents. School is for learning and not for these waste of time parties.


Mother Cusser

2/10/2014 2:19 PM

Principal Lee -

I applaud your efforts in change at your school. That is EXACTLY what I am talking about.

Glad to know there are at least two schools out there who are standing up and making changes.


Sugar Buns

2/11/2014 12:26 AM

At my son's school, the 2nd grade teacher said no Valentine's party and no exchanging of Valentines. At first I was a little sad because I loved those parties at my school, but then I got over it. My son could care less if they have a party, and like you, I'm thrilled he won't have 15 lbs. of sugar that day. I actually have a problem with some of the moms bringing birthday crap during lunch for the whole class in addition to their kids birthday parties out of school. Frosted donuts are a big favorite to bring to school. That's the worst "food" on the planet to me. It makes me mad that donuts, cupcakes with electric blue icing made out of Crisco, sugar and food dye, and iced cookie cakes are offered to my son without my permission esp. because I purposely send healthy lunches for my son for a reason. I don't want him to have an afternoon sugar crash and I'd like for his body to have nutrition.


Melly Kat

2/12/2014 2:19 PM

I'm with you on this one Mother Cusser. Sugar is poison. And I'm not talking about the sugar in fruit. I'm talking about about straight up refined sugar and high fructose corn syrup. You're right when you say it feeds cancer. It also does a load of other nasty stuff to our bodies. Check out this lecture by Robert H. Lustig, MD, UCSF Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Endocrinology (aka Smart Guy).


In it, Dr. Lustig explains the link between suger, obesity, heart disease, metabolic syndrome, and cancer, just to name a few nasties. He explains how sugar, (that is not a package deal with fiber, think whole fruits) is metabolized in the body exactly like alcohol, except without the buzz. So when you let your kids have a donut you might as well be giving them a shot of whiskey.

Think about it. Mother nature is a smart cookie (get it, cookie?). She intended us to have a taste for sweets because if something was sweet, that meant it was probably safe to eat. If it was bitter or pungent, you spit it out. But Mother Nature packaged the sugar in the fruit with FIBER. (Last time I checked there's no fiber in Fun Dip) Fiber is what helps the body cope with the sugar. There is only one place on the planet where sugar, BY ITSELF (meaning without the fiber) is a naturally occurring substance. Beehives. So before civilization decided to take sugar cane and then later, corn, and process the hell out of it, if you wanted something sweeter than fruit, you knew going to get your butt handed to you by a bunch of angry bees.

And we feed this stuff to our kids! As for the people who think kids should have treats... I agree. But I think it should be up to the parent, not the school cafeteria or the mom of the birthday kid who just brought donuts. I might be ok with the occasional Christmas/Halloween/Valentine's party sweets if I knew my kids were not bombarded with sugar at school almost everyday.

I could continue ranting on this subject, but I have to go- I have to help my kids tape the suckers to their valentines....



2/13/2014 7:39 AM

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control....

I'd encourage you to re-read your article in light of these traits that I'm sure you desire to instill in your children. What does your response to Todd Starnes's article teach your children?

I had the privilege of meeting Todd at a conference. He is a rare voice for conservative values in a very noisy and negative media. He has fun with it. And, I can assure you, he has a heart of gold.

Perhaps we should use Valentine's parties as opportunities to teach our children self-control. Trying to remove evil (sugar appears to be your evil in this article) from the world's of our children may seem valiant to you, but perhaps the more prudent task we as moms can tackle is to teach our children reasoning skills and how to make good choices in a world filled with ... sugar!



Mother Cusser

2/13/2014 9:10 AM

Kari -

Before criticizing my response to Todd, I would encourage you to read his article first - which you clearly did not.

Mr. Heart of Gold was disrespectful, inappropriate and just plain rude. He deserved to have someone like me step in to put him in his place. It's wonderful that you are a fan of his - but it's important that you open your eyes to see what exactly he said and how exactly he said it with regard to this issue.

Self control is a great lesson to teach, but we are not setting our children up for success with self control when we have school sponsored parties where they are encouraged to take "one of everything," and the choices are:






juice boxes or soda

How is offering that teaching self control?

A school in CT realized this. They took a stand. I support them. Todd Starnes called them "lame" and insinuated that they "had their heads up another part of their anatomy." What a great guy. Glad he's not negative in a noisy and negative media.


Mr. Teacher

2/13/2014 11:14 AM

I teach third grade. Valentine's day has turned in to Halloween. There is waaaayyyyyy too much candy. I wish the school in which I teach (and the schools my children attend) had the same policy. It's getting out of hand with the freaking sweets.



2/13/2014 2:18 PM

kids should have fun that's what it comes down to I understand the school wanting to limit sugar the 45 minutes should come at the end of the day so the parents can do with the treats as they see fit.



2/14/2014 6:45 AM

I just saw you on Fox 17 and I disagree with what you said about our children being fat because of sugar. Everyday poor eating habits as well as poor activity choices make our kids fat. Letting our kids indulge in sweets for a couple of days a year on the holidays is not going to make them fat. It's part of being a kid. Several other health issues like metabolism account for weight issues as well. I'm guilty, I eat sweets like crazy. But I'm not fat, never have been. But I do have high metabolism and I stay active. And my son will stay active as well. You blamed sugar alone, but take a look at parents and what they allow kids to do.


Mother Cusser

2/14/2014 9:35 AM

Welcome, Dad!

So lovely to hear from you. I agree with you that every day habits and no activity are the reason kids are heavy. In fact - read these prior hilarious and informative blogs that I've written in the past and you will find that you and I are on the same page.




Glad you're in sexy shape, Dad! You know you're in the minority that you eat sugar and don't carry excess weight, right? But either way - sugar can cause diabetes and you don't have to be fat for that to happen. And finally - I'm not worried about the adults. Y'all can do what you want - I'm talking about setting our kids up for success. And today on Fox I wanted to say what a lot of people say but no one does anything about - the amount of sugar that our kids take in in school is obscene.

They don't just get sugar one or two times a year. In addition to these holiday parties - they get ice cream parties for box top numbers, they get cupcakes or donuts when someone has a birthday in their class, they get pizza parties too for awards in school. Not to mention the ice cream and cookies that are offered to them in the cafeteria.

I'm saying it's too much. I think we should focus on academics and health. Not parties and sugar rushes.

Welcome to Mother Cusser! Glad you spoke up. I hope you stick around, Dad!



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