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Congressman Vance McAllister, A drunk Mommy and someone with Polio walk into a bar....

Congressman Vance McAllister, A drunk Mommy and someone with Polio walk into a bar....

Just kidding - the person with Polio can't walk

Author: Mother Cusser/Tuesday, April 8, 2014/Categories: Cussing, Funny, funny, funny

<<Mother Cusser hears this, like, every day.  Today, I'm saying it right back-atcha.

There have been so many ridiculous things in the news lately that I felt like I couldn’t comment on just ONE article.  

Before I start, I want to thank the media from the bottom of my heart for writing, shooting and posting these gems.  If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have anyone to make fun of and I also wouldn’t be on actual television every week.  I tease you for these stories but the truth is I really want my own show.  So it’s like I’m flirting with you.  

Remember people – the media can’t report it if people hadn’t actually done all of these ridiculous things. So it’s the people you need to blame. Not my precious media.  Don’t shoot the messengers (can I have my own show now?).

He who doth protest too much...

So this happened click here.

A married congressman makes out with a staffer and totally gets busted cuz someone took a video of it. Here’s what I know about this guy:

• Mr. McAllister is married with five children – Of course he is.

• He only has two issues on which he's based his campaign and they are family values and being a veteran – Does being a veteran trump make-outs with staffers?  It might actually.  Being a veteran is a huge deal.  

• He gained fame for inviting Duck Dynasty to President Obama's State of the Union – That is a great way to “gain fame.”  I’m officially inviting Duck Dynasty to my Mother Cusser Facebook page.

• As it turns out, not everyone involved in the apparent affair will be keeping their jobs: McAllister's office told the paper that Peacock, the part-time staffer caught on video with the congressman in his Monroe district offices, was removed from the payroll soon after the video became public.  – Hey that’s FAIR!  

Here’s what I think overall.  Those who protest too much are always up to shenanigans.  The pastor that trashes the gays ALWAYS turns out to be gay.  Always.  The person who hurls family values in your face kisses his staff and then fires them.  That couple you know that is ALWAYS kissing and talking about how they have a great sex life and can’t get enough of each other? Yeah they haven’t done it in 10 years.  

Next up is this silliness, click here.  ARE MOMS BECOMING ALCOHOLICS??  

Addiction is as addiction does...

The Today Show asks an addiction treatment center what they think.  Guess what they think? YES.  You know why? Because they are an addiction treatment center.  That’s what they do – treat addictions.  I’m sure there are some Moms in there – so what they say makes sense.  I’m sure the addiction center also treats Dads who drink. And athletes. And trapeze artists. And teachers. And lawyers. And dog walkers. Does that mean dog walkers are increasingly becoming alcoholics? Of course not.  Shut up.  Leave Moms alone. After a hellish day of only being around children with no break or freedom if a Mom wants a glass of wine, she shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about it.  But I will say calling it “Mommy Juice,” goes against everything I stand for.  Moms – be WOMEN about it – call it wine.  Or whiskey.  Or vodka. Or gin.  Or margaritas. Mmm. Margaritas.  

And this happened, click here.   

Vaccination emancipation?

I keep hearing in the media these stories about people not vaccinating their kids.  When did this become a great idea and why?  Now we’ve got outbreaks of these old timey diseases happening all over the country.  Let me get this straight. You won’t let your child ride his bike around the neighborhood because he might get kidnapped, hit by a car or kidnapped but you’ll forgo vaccinating him from polio??  

We wear helmets. We wear seatbelts.  We are told not to wear masks at Halloween because it blocks vision. We don’t even have trick or treating – we take our kids to a parking lot and let them get candy out of trunks. We have battery powered candles.  We practice stranger danger.  We look both ways. 


The reason these diseases fell by the wayside is BECAUSE of vaccinations, people.  Why on earth would you put a helmet on your son to ride his bike but you would skip his vaccination against the mumps?  Do you want him to suffer? Do you want the community at large to suffer? What is the logic here?

You know what? I don’t even care what your answer is.  I already don’t agree with it.  

In conclusion – I get lots and lots of feedback from people telling me not to judge others.  Evidently, those people live in a world where they are okay with everything they see and hear.  “Why can’t we all just get along?” they cry to me.  

If my neighbor beats his dog, should I stand by and “not judge”?  Should I say, “Well, that’s not what I would do - he must have his reasons,” and do nothing?  If my neighbor puts a sign in his yard that says, “I hate the gays,” should I tell him, “Hey alright! That’s your opinion! FREE SPEECH. AMURICA!”  I’m not going to do that, folks.  I will never, ever do that.  There are certain things that will never, ever be okay with me. 


People like to tell me that just because someone does something different from me doesn’t mean I should throw stones.  And to those people I say, “Duck!”

Yep. Looks famous to me. 

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1 comments on article "Congressman Vance McAllister, A drunk Mommy and someone with Polio walk into a bar...."



4/8/2014 8:58 AM

I agree with you on all these articles, but especially the one about vaccinations!! The majority of these parents were not vaccinated when they were small so they never had mumps, measeles, etc. I was born before we had those vaccinations and had all those deseases! I wouldn't wish them on my enemy. I remember how sick I was!! Shame on the parents who think that they know more than doctors!! Why put your child at risk? I don't understand.

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